No one mentioned to me that motherhood would require all these special superpowers in MATH. I think I might need to enroll in a weekend course for the following because it takes me far too long to figure this stuff out (what follows is an example of the calculations and questions that run through my head All.The.Time):
Packing Spatial Geometry =
How many blankets need to be tucked into the diaper bag vs. how many will actually FIT? Is it better to tuck the burp cloths and change of clothes and THEN to pack the diapers & wipes - or do the burp cloths and change of clothes fit around the more square-ish items that have to go in the bag?
Nap Math =
If I put Alice down at 7:45 a.m. for her morning nap, what time will I be feeding her again? And if I can extend her nap time by 15 minutes, when will she have her next nap? Will the adjustment of 15 minutes to the morning nap require me to stretch out her feeding time tonight to keep the same bedtime? Alice woke up an hour and a half EARLIER than normal - quick! Figure out the new nap/feeding times. Don't let head explode.
Food Math =
Two ounces to one scoop of formula. Lather, rinse, repeat. Several times a day.
Clothing Math =
The Gerbers onesies run small - so if I buy the size Large in Gerber, would I buy the size medium in Carters (which run large)? Or should I buy the Large in Carters and wait for her to grow into them? She is currently 17 pounds, 27 inches. Why don't ALL baby clothes have a clear chart for weight and height? Why do I have to hunt for it?
It's really the nap math that blows my mind most. I am doing these little tricksy calculations all day long, no kidding. I've discovered that my kid can stay awake and pleasant for about 2 hours (really closer to 90 minutes if we're being honest here) before getting to a pretty inconsolable state. Yes, she takes the shortest little naps in the universe, but they are NEEDED little resets throughout the day. In addition, she eats approximately every three hours. So every time I put her down for a nap, I'm doing the mental gymnastics of "Okay... it's 9am now, that means she'll take her next nap at noon - and I'll be feeding her at 10:30 or so" etc. I've tried explaining the Nap Math to Chip, so he can be In the Know when he's watching her, but I realized that he hasn't even taken the beginner course in Mother Math, so it's all craziness to him.
I'll let you know about the weekend advanced course. I think I'm going to need it.